And we both know hearts can change
by ClarkeGriffinIsMySpiritAnimal
Summary: Bellarke headcanon! after 2x16 Bellamy tries to find a way to deal with Clarke's absence and Clarke tries to find what feels like home. One shot. COMPLETE!


**So I was trying to work on the next chapter for You're not alone, Princess! and then realized that it's Wednesday and tomorrow is Thursday and when I'll come home tomorrow there won't be a new episode of The100 waiting for me and it made me really, really sad again. So I decided to make myself feel a bit better and wrote this.**

**I wrote this for my wonderful friend Brigitte. She is literally the best and I am so, so thankful that I started this TV show for I found a true friend in this fandom. We started talking over Bellarke fanfics so it's only natural that I dedicade this one to her, right?  
I can't even explain how thankful I am to have her friendship. Not matter how bad my day sucks, she always manages to make me smile though she lives over three thousand miles away. BEE I LOVE YOU!**

**Writing this made me feel better and I hope you like this.**

**I apologize for all mistakes but I'm not a native and this is not edited. I tried my best.**

**Disclaimer: You already know that I don't own anything :(**

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**P.S. The title's from the song November Rain by Guns N' Roses**

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Four months. It had been four friggin' months since she had left. Four months since Bellamy had hold her in his arms for the last time. Four months since she had kissed his cheek for the first and obviously for the last time. Four months since Bellamy had let his co-leader walk away with all the guilt she decided to bear for all of them.

But she did not bear it for all of them because her leaving made them all feel guilty, especially Bellamy. He still couldn't believe that he had let her go. He missed her. They all did.

They all felt her absence everyday.

Abby freaked out when she noticed her daughter was missing. Bellamy had tried to explain it to her but the only thing that this brought him was that Abby made him responsible for the situation. For not holding her back, for letting her make her own decision.

It was her decision to leave them. She decided it for herself and that was exactly why he hadn't hold her back.

Octavia had filled him in with what he had missed while he was in Mt. Weather. The truth – about the decisions she'd fell, about everything that had happened and Bellamy than knew that he had did the right thing. He knew now that it wasn't only the decision to kill all the people in the mountain but also Finn, and not telling anyone about the missile.

Bellamy guessed that there was a lot going on in her head right now and though he'd wished there was a way for him to help, he knew the only person that could help her was she.

Monty and Raven kept giving him looks full of worry and pity and sometimes Bellamy had to hold himself back to not snap at them. It was hard. He appreciated their concern but it drove him mad. It kept reminding him that she was gone and probably was not coming back.

Even Jasper told him a few weeks ago that he was sorry that she'd left.

Bellamy had been really surprised by that but had given him a sad smile and told him that he was sorry, too, and Jasper had said he knew.

It was still hard for Jasper to look at him or Monty without venom in his glare but it became a lot better since they'd exchanged apologies.

Jasper was spending most of his time with Raven and/or Wick. It seemed like they helped him a lot with dealing with Maya's death, especially Raven.

She could understand his pain. Raven had lost the love of her life through his co-leader, too. But she'd dealt with it and forgave her – kind of.

But Bellamy guessed that Wick – or Kyle, how he'd been informed – played a big part in Raven's healing progress.

Miller was the only one that did not look at Bellamy like he feared he'd explode any moment. He was the only one that did not treat him like a stupid time bomb. Because Bellamy had already exploded.

After he'd tried to explain everything to Abby and she'd basically blamed him for the disappearance of her daughter (_"This is all your fault, Bellamy Blake!"_), Miller had led him out so he couldget rid of his anger.

It has been only the two of them and they'd put quite some distance between them and the camp. And Bellamy had screamed. He had screamed her name and cursed and blamed himself and cursed some more. He'd kicked at rocks and punched trees and Miller had let him.

And then, after he'd been tired of the screaming and kicking and punching, he'd sit on the ground and cried.

He'd finally cried after seeing her walk away from him. After leaving him with only a hug and a kiss on the cheek.

He'd only had her back a few moments before he'd lost her again and Bellamy was so tired of losing everyone – of losing her.

After he and Miller had returned to the camp, Bellamy had done everything to hold his promise. He was taking care of them. It wasn't the same without his co-leader hovering over him and scolding with him, but he did good.

Kane had decided to make him head of the Guard which had surprised Bellamy but also made him happy.

They also had decided that Bellamy was responsible for the remaining of the original hundred because the kids had taken a rebellion. They were glad to be with their families again but they refused to live under the command of the Ark.

And since no one wanted to separate the kids from their families again, Kane had given in.

Octavia and Lincoln lived both with them. Lincoln had refused to go back to the tribe – all that mattered to him was O, and Bellamy (who would never admit this) was very happy to have him.

Octavia had changed a lot sine he'd left for Mt. Weather but after all, the badass woman was still his darling baby sister.

O had forgiven her eventually and Bellamy knew she missed her friend, too.

Bellamy sighed.

They were heading back from a haunting trip and all he could think of was how he missed his co-leader, his annoying princess, his friend.

He wasn't even able to _think _her stupid name because it hurt too much.

Every time someone would say her name, it burned a whole in his chest and his heart ached.

They had all eventually stopped saying her name. It was easier that way.

Bellamy sighed again.

He couldn't believe that he was thinking about this again.

He shook his head and turned.

"Miller!" he called out.

His friend came from the back and looked at him quizzically.

"You lead."

Miller nodded and Bellamy let everyone walk past him, staying a few feet behind the group.

They were still an hour away from camp, which gave Bellamy time to put himself back together.

The group in front of him was chatting lightly but he did not really feel like taking part in a conversation. The only person he really wanted to talk to right now wasn't there.

It became easier for him and he was already doing better but every single time he left the camp he secretly hoped to find her.

Suddenly, Bellamy heard something running in their direction and he called out for his group. They all turned to the noise and then they saw a deer jumping over the bushes, followed by a swoosh.

One minute the deer was in the air and in the other minute it dropped to the ground, dead, an arrow in it's chest.

Alarmed, Bellamy looked up and he felt his heart drop to the ground.

Bow still in hand and with wide eyes and open mouth, she stood on a little hill. Her clothes were full of mud and so was her face and hair but Bellamy could still make out the golden locks under the dirt and the piercing blue eyes.

He could hear the others murmuring voices as they, too, realized where she was.

Bellamy could see her lips move, as if she was whispering something to herself but of course he couldn't understand what it was.

And then she was running. Stumbling down the hill - almost falling - but she caught herself on a tree and kept running towards him.

Suddenly she was throwing her arms around his neck and out of instinct he wrapped his arms around her waist, taking in a sharp breath. He hadn't even noticed that he'd stopped breathing until she was in his arms.

"Bellamy." It was only a whisper but to Bellamy it meant the world.

"Clarke." He finally allowed himself to say her name.

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She was walking already for hours. She knew that her destination wasn't far from here – maybe an hour – but she was starving. Her last _meal _was 12 hours ago and all she'd had the past days were berries and herbs and one little rabbit. So when she saw the deer it was obvious that she'd take her chance but the stupid animal noticed her and tried to make it for a run. But Clarke was hungry and when the animal jumped over some bushes she aimed and surprisingly, the arrow hit his target. The deer dropped to the ground right next to an haunting party of the Ark. She froze.

One of them was standing alone a few feet from the others. He looked at the now dead animal and then his gaze wandered up to where she was standing with her bow still in her hand. Their gazes locked and Clarke inhaled sharply.

He was beautiful.

The mop of dark curls on his head was a bit longer now but she could make out his freckles even from the distance. The dark colour of his eyes brought the fire in her back and she heard herself whisper his name. Tasting the beautiful sound of it after having tried to not constantly think about him.

Clarke run. She stumbled down the hill and almost fell.

When she reached him, she didn't hesitate to throw her arms around him and he responded with holding her tight.

She heard him taking in a sharp breath.

"Bellamy." she whispered in his ear.

"Clarke." hearing him breath her name was like coming home and Clarke felt tears burn behind her eyes. She tried to blink them away but failed miserably.

When something wet rolled onto her shoulder she knew that Bellamy was crying as well.

Clarke took a step back and loosened their embrace a bit so that she could look him in the face.

"I missed you.", she sighed and cupped his face, brushing away his tears and unexpectedly bringing their lips together.

Bellamy seemed taken aback by that but recovered quickly and returned the kiss.

Behind them Clarke and Bellamy heard the haunting party whooping and cheering and they pulled apart. Clarke's cheeks burned and she could see Bellamy was blushing, too.

"Well, Princess. If you missed me, you should come back home with me." he smirked at her.

"That's exactly where I was heading. Seems like I've arrived sooner than I thought." She fondly looked up at him and smiled.

"I really missed you, Clarke," he said and dipped his head back down to kiss her again.

After four months, Clarke had finally found herself and what she was looking for. After four months on her own, she had found a way into the arms of the only person she needed and wanted to be with. After four months, Clarke had finally arrived home!

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**I hope you enjoyed. Please tell me what you think.**

**I LOVE YOU!**

**-Kat xx**


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